Tuesday, August 9, 2011

"I wanna be a contender"

As I begin to focus on my new priority to eat less, eat better, and move more, I find some stumbling blocks in the way. Yesterday I came home from the grocery store and I had the hardest time getting myself to ride the exercise bike for 20 minutes. But I did it because I knew I had this blog to write. I am using this as my way of keeping myself honest and motivating me. In the old days, I was motivated to be thin because I wanted to look good for the guys. I still care about that but I am now a married lady. So where can I find the motivation? I have to deal with this paradigm shift of being older and married. What is my new motivation? Just being healthy and fit sure sounds good but doesn't really knock you over with excitement. So I have an idea. I want to look good as I get older so my friends from my past will say, "hey, you look good!" THAT is the motivation I want. I want to hear people I meet to tell me how good I look. That began to happen over a year ago after I lost 20 pounds.

I remember my beautiful friend, Annie, who came to visit me twice in the last few years. She is taller than I am and wears a size 8. When she walks in the room or down the street, I see the eyes turn in her direction. I feel proud to be by her side and I feel sorry that I can't command that attention. But if I lost these 30 pounds, I could gain more eyeballs. I may never have as many as Annie, since she also carries herself a bit like Marilyn Monroe, but I will at least be a contender.

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